Posts

Diagnoses

What I have to deal with, work through, etc. is not who I am. But it is very useful to be diagnosed with illnesses and differences. It creates a shorthand of sorts (instead of listing all the symptoms I have of ADHD, I just name it and there is mutual basic understanding) between medical professionals and patients. It provides basic guidance for treatment, modifications, and strategies. And, most importantly for me, it takes away the blame and shame of not being able to do something that most or all of my peers can do. Here is what I have been diagnosed with as of today: ADHD Clinical Depression  Generalized Anxiety Disorder  Potential diagnoses that are being explored are: Caregiver PTSD Caregiver Stress Syndrome (and other offshoots of this syndrome) Borderline Personality Disorder/Personality Disorders in general Issues with Word Binding Autism Spectrum  These are only the mental diagnoses I have. There are physical ones which do affect and are affected by the mental....
Post a Comment
Read more

Not a Typical Female

I pride myself on being weird. I believe it started out more as a defense mechanism against the bullies and jerks in elementary school. But in time I realized that weird is interesting. And I don't get easily distracted from something very interesting.  Another aspect I have uncovered about being weird is that it frees me up to pursue almost anything. I don't worry about how it will look to society if I decide I want to wear neckties through part of middle school. I liked them therefore I wore them.  Accepting my differences and even embracing some of them seemed to have an unexpected effect on the jerks and bullies. Honestly I'm not sure what specifically happened, but I think I became too difficult to deal with. When someone tells you that you are weird and will never be popular they expect you to be hurt and cower. My response was that I liked being weird and I was popular among my friends. Boy do I wish I could be this succinct as an adult! My heart was racing and I pro...
Post a Comment
Read more

Phrases

There are certain phrases I have picked up and/or developed over the years to help me explain myself or my thoughts and beliefs. It's quite difficult to explain my brain on the fly when a huge part of who I am is Neurodivergent. Aka, my brain don't work normal. Here's a few: 1. I might be the stupidest smart person you'll ever know.  2. There are no absolutes. (This one adjusts makes me giggle a little bit.) 3. Intelligent design is a myth. Who puts an amusement park in the middle of a sewage plant? 4. I don't know. (Possibly one of the most underrated, underused, and stigmatized phrases in all of communication.) 5. I'll do my best but don't count on it.  6. I'm consistently inconsistent.  7. I don't get it. (Very useful when dealing with misogyny, racism, etc. Also good for when I don't get it.) I know there are more, but these are the core of how I attempt to be successful at communicating. 
Post a Comment
Read more

I hate people

There are many times when I find myself thinking or saying that I hate people. I remember when I first heard it from someone I admired and it made me sad. I tried to fix it and to understand it, as is my nature. Neither worked in the short term, and it took me a long time before I started to understand.  People can be wonderful! They can be creative, giving, loving, caring, funny, interesting, and much more. They can also be controlling, mean, imposing, callous, greedy, annnnd I could go on. Of course nobody is ever fully one or the other. It depends on many factors as well as opinions and current knowledge.  Why I hate people is deceptively simple. They can, in general, make the world a better place for everyone. Yet most decide to let others do it. YOU ARE THE OTHERS TO EVERYONE ELSE!
Post a Comment
Read more